We put Tyler to sleep today - the vet came over a little after 6pm. Mom was in hysterics, I was even almost sobbing at one point. They gave him the first shot - a tranquilizer, Mom held him in her arms for a few minutes, I leaned over to say goodbye (by that point they are mostly unconscious anyway) and then it was time to lay him on the table, and the vet gave him the final injection (overdose of anesthetic to stop his heart) and Mom held him for a few more minutes.
I think the worst part is the period between the first and second shots, when you don't really know exactly when they stop being able to know you are there and crying for them, before they slip away. I noticed Tyler's claws feebly scratching on Mom's arm and then they stopped as he relaxed.
We said thank you to the vet and her assistant - although I'm not sure "thank you" is the right word - I mean, what, thanks for coming to kill our cat? But of course, it's a thank-you for helping putting him out of his misery, and a thanks for all the years they took care of both him and Pinky. (Mom said even they had tears in their eyes when Pinky died). Such a horrible thing.
Mom cried and cried and cried... and then abruptly wanted dinner. She wasn't very coherent - she wanted to go someplace and sit outside to eat, but then she didn't want to be around people. She wanted a stiff drink - or three, I don't blame her. We settled on some takeout from PF Changs, and I stopped to get a bottle of super-cheap sparkling wine since she wanted bubbly. (PF Changs is fucking expensive. It was 36 dollars for 2 entrees and a side order. In fact - I'd better check that tomorrow perhaps it was the wrong price now that I think about it but I was in no state to deal with it). So we came home and sat outside. At one point, she insisted she saw Tyler standing inside, broke out in hysterical sobbing again.
Now the next hardest part was, clearing out Mom's room of cat-related items. The cat food, bowls, the litter box from the hall, and all the other little kitty things laying around. She was in hysterics. She was also very drunk. I made sure she had two large glasses of the champagne (I had about a half-cup) so that she can calm down. (She's hilarious when drunk) since we both have little tolerance for alcohol.
So she's in her room now sobbing quietly.
Tyler is with Pinky, waiting for his own star in the night sky, I hope his is right next to Pinky when he finally gets to the end of his journey in this life. I know they will be comfortable and happy together.
Mom is right - it's going to be awfully quiet around here. It will be difficult for days or even weeks, to get over this - and I have to nudge Mom forward.
But right now is time for grieving.
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